“Please be patient with me while I try to figure out the role of being a wife to your son…”
There is an abstract saying in South African that says wathint’ abafazi, wathint’ imbokodo, meaning – you strike a woman you strike a rock. This saying symbolises a woman’s strength and courage in everyday battles they might find themselves facing.
Society has instilled in women that they need to be strong everyday especially in their marriages even if everything is falling apart because that’s what a woman does. But what if staying strong comes with the difficulties of an unsupportive mother and sister-in-laws who think you’ve come to take away their son and brother away from them?
As a young woman one of the scariest thoughts is when I get married one day will my mother in-law accept me as her daughter, will I get along with my futures husband’s siblings especially my sisters in-law? Will they one-day be a drift between my husband and I or will they be the glue that helps keep my marriage together when I need them. These are some of the reasons that have drawn me to the book Makoti and the In-Laws.
Thembi Monametsi is an award-winning author, Inspirational Speaker and founder of “Rise up Woman”, an organization that is focused on women empowerment and community upliftment; she also holds the title of Mrs Africa Global United 2020. Thembi is the proud author of ‘Makoti and the In-Laws’ – a book that focuses on the relationship between the wife and the in-laws more specifically the mother and the sisters of the husband, in the book she gives advice of how to go about getting along with your in-laws and how the in-laws should get along with you, building that bond and relationship is important for your marriage and especially when children and grandchildren get involved.
One of the things that can help build a relationship with the in-laws is finding a common ground with the mother and sisters in-law such as the fact that you both love your husband, son and brother. If you can find some common ground it could take the pressure off the other parts of your relationship that are more challenging.
“Please be patient with me while I try to figure out the role of being a wife to your son. There are no manuals on how to be the perfect wife, mother, and daughter-in-law, so I would appreciate it if you do not compare me to others including my sisters-in-law and love me for the way that I am and the way that I look”, says an excerpt from Makoti and the In-laws.
The book gives you the tools and guidelines to mend and form amazing relationships with your in-laws, a much needed help and an amazing support structure when needed the most.
By Yami Nhlenyama